Just chilling all my lonesome happily

Just been released from the hospital after a minor surgery. Listening to some cozy beats on youtube and finally getting some “me” time – that of which I’ve been sorely lacking in the last few weeks. It’s always when I’m alone that I realize how important it is to designate this time to myself and remind myself of who I am away from all the responsibilities and relationships that I have. I’ve been either always surrounded by friends, peers, family, the boyfriend (for every day pretty much the whole day for almost an entire week when he flew back in – it was slightly trying to be around someone for such a prolonged period despite our time being enjoyable of course). I suppose I’m just someone that needs a decent amount of space. Often I’m afraid of conveying this as I worry that one might take it personally – as A did. Ah well, slowly with the communication. I truly don’t want my relationship to be the priority in my life. I don’t want it to take me away from myself as it tended to in the past. I’ve always ended up compromising what I wanted to please someone else because well, the truth is that normally none of those things really bothered me, to begin with. The problem, of course, was that after one thing, it’d be another, then another…until I was stretched so far I couldn’t recognize myself and I was ultimately unsatisfied. Can’t risk that again so have to stay aware. Feeling slightly drowsy as a result of all the medication I’ve had to take. On the bright side, I also feel really chill. More myself. Which is always good. I’m gonna enjoy it as much as I can before my friend comes over for dinner. Feeling pretty happy today. It’s always nice to have the house to myself.


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