Ongoing struggle

So lately once again, I’ve been struggling with staying present and getting so lost up in my thoughts that days tend to go by in a blur of them. Even now as I sit on the balcony on this sunny day, with the blow of the wind sending the crisp leaves ruffling, and the chirping of the birds flying in the distance, I’m more in my own head. So I’m taking a moment now to draw my attention away from within and focus on all that’s around me. Writing it out seems to go a long way. Perhaps I should take up morning pages again, though I always seem to find an excuse not to follow through with commitments such as these. It’s only when shit hits the fan (pardon the expression) that I tend to take my overall well-being seriously, and that is a great shame for when obstacles come my way they’ll surely knock me off if I’m not prepared. What can I do? Try and try again, make it a priority to regularly practice with a sangha on Sundays. Previously, I have often used to excuse of my workload to not go while I know if I had arranged my time a bit more efficiently and didn’t mind putting in some extra late hours, I could manage.  It’s all about priorities after all. So today – here I am sitting before my laptop. This is now. What’s next? Clean my room would be a good start. Read Tolle. He brings me back to myself and helps me remember what’s important. Stay aware when I get overly absorbed in my thoughts, especially if it’s pretty clear I’m living my days through them. Then…hmm..not sure, just taking it easy at the moment since I’ve almost an entire month off. Ironically I’m less inclined to do my work with all this time I know have, so going to really have to work to instill discipline if I’m to go back on schedule. Anyway, that’s it for me today. Let’s get this room done.


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