Marching On

So it’s been a good while since my last post, and much has picked up since then. I have been recovering steadily and although I still have weak moments that leave me feeling vulnerable for a few more days after an attack, I am able to cope. I just have to remain focused, and ensure I incorporate structure in my life. While a fair bit of surprises and unpredictability can be fun, the comfort of a routine is next to none when I feel like I’m on shaky ground. Okay, well, that and being around those I love. No better medicine than that, really. So to say it’s been quite the year would be an understatement. I was on an ethereal high at the start of the year, only to come crashing down just a couple months later to what I can only describe as the depths of mental hell. It could have been worse, of course. But when life is throwing you off the deep end, you can’t imagine that anyone could have it worse than you. I don’t know whether this is terrible to say but it definitely isn’t with malicious intent…but it is kind of reassuring the hear that others have been through worse. Not that I’m glad it happened to them, but it gives me hope to know that overcoming the terror of my struggles is a possibility. The fact that I’m still here proves that. I’m still slightly unhinged, for sure. Trauma will do that to you. But for the most part, I remain in tact…just with a few kinks here and there. If I was a robot, I suppose I’d use the word “glitchy” to describe the feeling. But I’m getting there. Recovery in itself is a challenge that is painful, but as with most things that cost you, it’s worth it in the long run. I suppose I’ll leave it here for the meantime. I hope to get back into a habit of free writing…but first, to return to my love of reading. Till next time x


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